1. |
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2. |
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darling i think i need to say sorry
for not seeing you in the light that i know you wanted me to
but things get so hard when i don’t know how to talk about them
of all the things that swirl around my mind
now time has gone away from me
while you moved on but i can’t speak
of all these things i never knew i wanted
but maybe one day we can start again
and maybe i won't be left wondering to myself
"what if you had been in my arms instead of his?"
darling i think i need to say sorry
for every mixed signal and every chance we lost
all the heartache to go along with something destined to go wrong
now time has gone away from me
while you moved on but i can’t speak
of all these things i never knew i wanted
but maybe one day we can start again
and maybe i won't be left wondering to myself
"what if you had been in my arms instead of his?"
but now i know we can't come back from this
you've gone and found a better life with him
and maybe someday i can finally mend
but for now i'm still a mess
darling i think i need to say sorry
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3. |
wishful thinking
02:59
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dear god it's me, your son
i've been searching for answers
but i haven't found one
i think i know deep down there's more
but it's hard to see the light
after living in dark for so long
these fears of sinking deeper and deeper
are what keeps me here below
and as my hand goes towards the surface
will you reach down and pull me up for air
my love's not lost
i'm just searching for solutions
and wondering where you are
cause i'm not strong
i wasn't able to keep myself up
now i'm blind and walking all alone
these fears of sinking deeper and deeper
are what keeps me here below
and as my hand goes towards the surface
will you reach down and pull me up for air
my love's not lost
i'm just searching for solutions
and wondering where you are
cause i'm not strong
i wasn't able to keep myself up
now i'm blind and walking all alone
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4. |
love letters
03:42
|
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dear mother, dear father
my sisters and brothers
will you watch me as i turn the page?
and wish me well as we go our separate ways
i just wish that i could take you all with me
i'll write these love letters in blood
to thank you all for everything you've done
watch me peel back my skin and let it all settle in
and write these love letters in blood
as my hand reaches for the door
to step out to another phase of life
i start to fear all of the unknowns
so i wish you well as we go our separate ways
i just wish that i could take you all with me
i'll write these love letters in blood
to thank you all for everything you've done
watch me peel back my skin and let it all settle in
and write these love letters in blood
cause now i find myself
at the edge of everything
on the cusp of who i could be
i find myself at the edge of everything
wondering is this who i’m meant to be?
i'll write these love letters in blood
to thank you all for everything you've done
watch me peel back my skin and let it all settle in
and write these love letters in blood
|
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5. |
i am fearful
06:33
|
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|
these lights keep growing dim
my heart keeps skipping beats
as you sit here next to me
it’s been four years to the day
since we went our separate ways
still i taste your words on my teeth
All i hope is for you to understand
to know that i've been trying my best
i know you'll be dreaming while i fall apart
to make all changes and soften my heart
cause i am fearful that i can't change
And my bones have breaking from the weight of my guilt
cause i left you alone and though you've moved on still
i am fearful that i can't change
i’ll try to make my peace
i’ll try to rest my head
and get some sleep
but these days i hardly dream
i pick and pull and hope
that the pain will finally cease
All i hope is for you to understand
to know that i've been trying my best
i know you'll be dreaming while i fall apart
to make all changes and soften my heart
cause i am fearful that i can't change
And my bones have breaking from the weight of my guilt
cause i left you alone and though you've moved on still
i am fearful that i can't change
i couldn't be the man you wanted me to be
i learned i never saw the forest from the trees
i'm sorry for the words i chose to say
and for how i pushed you away
i know you'll be dreaming while i fall apart
to make all changes and soften my heart
cause i am fearful that i can't change
And my bones have breaking from the weight of my guilt
cause i left you alone and though you've moved on still
i am fearful that i can't change
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6. |
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so what all can i take away
from all these things i’ve done?
i’m holding on for better days
or the day i’ll see the dawn
if there’s a lesson to be learned
i pray that the words could burn
like a wildfire in my brain
so pray for me
that my soul will find peace
in the sound of falling apart
tick, tock, the time keeps moving forward
pulls me further away from everything
the world keeps spinning and i’m here standing still
searching for a place that i call home
so i’ll make my way
try to find my place
in the sound of falling apart
so pray for me
that my soul will find peace
so i’ll make my way
try to find my place
my lungs continue to burn
as the world around me starts to blur
i'll rest my eyes
let it all pass me by
to the sound of falling apart
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cauldwell. Minneapolis, Minnesota
writing love letters to present and past selves
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