We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

i don't know myself as well as i once thought, Pt. 2

by cauldwell.

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $5 USD

     

1.
2.
darling i think i need to say sorry for not seeing you in the light that i know you wanted me to but things get so hard when i don’t know how to talk about them of all the things that swirl around my mind now time has gone away from me while you moved on but i can’t speak of all these things i never knew i wanted but maybe one day we can start again and maybe i won't be left wondering to myself "what if you had been in my arms instead of his?" darling i think i need to say sorry for every mixed signal and every chance we lost all the heartache to go along with something destined to go wrong now time has gone away from me while you moved on but i can’t speak of all these things i never knew i wanted but maybe one day we can start again and maybe i won't be left wondering to myself "what if you had been in my arms instead of his?" but now i know we can't come back from this you've gone and found a better life with him and maybe someday i can finally mend but for now i'm still a mess darling i think i need to say sorry
3.
dear god it's me, your son i've been searching for answers but i haven't found one i think i know deep down there's more but it's hard to see the light after living in dark for so long these fears of sinking deeper and deeper are what keeps me here below and as my hand goes towards the surface will you reach down and pull me up for air my love's not lost i'm just searching for solutions and wondering where you are cause i'm not strong i wasn't able to keep myself up now i'm blind and walking all alone these fears of sinking deeper and deeper are what keeps me here below and as my hand goes towards the surface will you reach down and pull me up for air my love's not lost i'm just searching for solutions and wondering where you are cause i'm not strong i wasn't able to keep myself up now i'm blind and walking all alone
4.
love letters 03:42
dear mother, dear father my sisters and brothers will you watch me as i turn the page? and wish me well as we go our separate ways i just wish that i could take you all with me i'll write these love letters in blood to thank you all for everything you've done watch me peel back my skin and let it all settle in and write these love letters in blood as my hand reaches for the door to step out to another phase of life i start to fear all of the unknowns so i wish you well as we go our separate ways i just wish that i could take you all with me i'll write these love letters in blood to thank you all for everything you've done watch me peel back my skin and let it all settle in and write these love letters in blood cause now i find myself at the edge of everything on the cusp of who i could be i find myself at the edge of everything wondering is this who i’m meant to be? i'll write these love letters in blood to thank you all for everything you've done watch me peel back my skin and let it all settle in and write these love letters in blood
5.
i am fearful 06:33
these lights keep growing dim my heart keeps skipping beats as you sit here next to me it’s been four years to the day since we went our separate ways still i taste your words on my teeth All i hope is for you to understand to know that i've been trying my best i know you'll be dreaming while i fall apart to make all changes and soften my heart cause i am fearful that i can't change And my bones have breaking from the weight of my guilt cause i left you alone and though you've moved on still i am fearful that i can't change i’ll try to make my peace i’ll try to rest my head and get some sleep but these days i hardly dream i pick and pull and hope that the pain will finally cease All i hope is for you to understand to know that i've been trying my best i know you'll be dreaming while i fall apart to make all changes and soften my heart cause i am fearful that i can't change And my bones have breaking from the weight of my guilt cause i left you alone and though you've moved on still i am fearful that i can't change i couldn't be the man you wanted me to be i learned i never saw the forest from the trees i'm sorry for the words i chose to say and for how i pushed you away i know you'll be dreaming while i fall apart to make all changes and soften my heart cause i am fearful that i can't change And my bones have breaking from the weight of my guilt cause i left you alone and though you've moved on still i am fearful that i can't change
6.
so what all can i take away from all these things i’ve done? i’m holding on for better days or the day i’ll see the dawn if there’s a lesson to be learned i pray that the words could burn like a wildfire in my brain so pray for me that my soul will find peace in the sound of falling apart tick, tock, the time keeps moving forward pulls me further away from everything the world keeps spinning and i’m here standing still searching for a place that i call home so i’ll make my way try to find my place in the sound of falling apart so pray for me that my soul will find peace so i’ll make my way try to find my place my lungs continue to burn as the world around me starts to blur i'll rest my eyes let it all pass me by to the sound of falling apart

credits

released October 9, 2020

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

cauldwell. Minneapolis, Minnesota

writing love letters to present and past selves

contact / help

Contact cauldwell.

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this album or account

If you like cauldwell., you may also like: